In the "random things I was thinking about while on the elliptical machine" department, the other day I decided to assign theme songs to each member of the Thunder's bullpen. These songs, based almost solely on their titles, best describe the relievers and their roles.

For example, if I were to give Mariano Rivera a theme song, it would be Queen's "Waiting for the Hammer to Fall," and not his traditional "Enter Sandman." It's sacrilegious to mess with Rivera, I know, but work with me.

So, without further blather, here's what I thought up for each Trenton reliever, alphabetically.

CORY ARBISO -- The Trammps "Rubber Band"

Why I chose it: Arbiso's role, like a rubber band, is elastic. He can start, he can be a long reliever, he can go one inning, or he can come in to get just one man. This tune also would work for Kei Igawa or Josh Schmidt, but I've got better ideas for them.

WILKINS ARIAS -- Jay-Z "30 Something"

Why I chose it: The man is 30 years old, and has pitched with the Thunder since 2008. Despite that, though, he's still pretty effective. Also, given the wanton sketchiness for Dominican birthdays, I figured 30 something was rather appropriate.

GRANT DUFF -- Jerry Butler "Mechanical Man"

Why I chose it: When he told me the other day that he had screw inserted in his right elbow over the offseason to help repair a stress fracture, I immediately thought of this song. Granted, "Mechanical Man," in Butler's context, means an entirely different thing, but the song is too darn funky to pass on.

FERNANDO HERNANDEZ -- Lamont Dozier "Put Out My Fire"

Why I chose it: Hernandez is the closer, so putting out fires is more or less his job. I could have gone with Lil Wayne's "Fireman," but I hate Lil' Wayne, so you get Lamont Dozier.

KEI IGAWA -- 50 Cent " I Get Money"

Why I chose it: I mean, this is pretty obvious. He's in the final year of a contract that wound up paying him -- bonus included -- $48 million. The man's got some scrilla. Nuff said.

WARNER MADRIGAL -- EPMD "I'm Mad"

Why I Chose It: Because I haven't seen him pitch yet, I'm going to go with a pun on his name. He came into the mix a little late, what can I say?

TIM NORTON -- 50 Cent "Heat"

Why I chose it: Norton brings it up to 95 pretty consistently, so "heat" is indeed what he brings. I thought this was a bit of a slam dunk.

NAOYA OKAMOTO -- The D.O.C. "It's Funky Enough"

Why I chose it: Like most Japanese pitchers, Okamoto's delivery contains quite a bit of funk. Also, The D.O.C. (who did a good portion of the writing for N.W.A, Eazy-E and Dr. Dre) is awesome.

JOSH SCHMIDT -- Brand Nubian "Slow Down"

Why I chose it: When Schmidt relieves a kid like Dellin Betances or Manny Banuelos, the opponent is in for a bit of a culture shock. They will go from a mid-90s fastball to Schmidt's mid-80s heater and mid-60s curveball. That's almost not fair.

PAT VENDITTE -- Eric Clapton "Double Trouble"

Why I chose it: I also think this is fairly obvious. He throws with both hands, and he's been pretty spectacular lately. Hence, double trouble.